I am 25 today.
As a new 25 year old, the official mark of my almost 30th birthday and no-turning-back-now adulthood, I have learnt that I have entered these years of my young adult life where my responisbilities, lessons and prioritities are notably changing. I have learnt that from the time you graduate to the age of 25, you are constantly trying to adjust to the real world reality but you are also going through confusion as to who you really are in this really big world.
All of a sudden you get questions like “Who are you?”, “Tell more more about yourself!”, “What makes you, you?”. We have spent our entire early years trying to figure out what you want to be in this world and not who to be.
24 was a really tough year of self-discovery. I went through things that I did not know I could possibly overcome. It was a year of identifying and trying to learn how to love all the mysterious parts of me that I did not know I had. It was the year where I analyzed every part of me (good, bad, dark, misunderstood). I learnt to strip down to who I really wanted to be, not what society wanted me to be. It was exhausting at times to undo every little negative voice that I often used to listen to. It was exhausting trying to slowly undo all of my negative inner thoughts. I had to often retrain my brain into thinking more positively.
24 was an “aha” kind of year. All of a sudden, what I used to hold as important, were now coloured in different spectrums of very new understandings. Imperfect? Ofcourse. I feel confident in all that I do and all that I really love to do. I want to enter the last of my 20-something years, with a clear mindset of who I really want to be.
I have learnt lessons that have presented me with a refreshing outlook on life.
1. I am my best self when I am kind to myself…
It takes a lot of work and a lot of investment. It is a daily effort that needs my full attention. As soon as I start treating myself kinder, so many wonderful things happen.
2. Letting go of who people think I should be…
Embracing who I really am. Doing things that make ME happy. Not living for other people.
3. Nothing is permanent…
Life constantly changes. There is no such thing as consistent growth. If my internal thoughts and feelings can change, so can my growth.
4. Do not take things personally…
Most of the time people are making decisions and passing judgement because they are self-projecting. It only benefits them. I control me and my thoughts and emotions. Stop taking things so seriously and live a little.
4. Know who I am…
I may not find that everyone understands me and that is totally okay. I know what I deserve and I am allowed to speak its existence out loud, without feeling guilty for doing it or for asking.
5. My feelings are not always going to be the same…
There will be days when I will not be at my best. I will feel like I have backtracked. But one bad day does not define my overall growth and progression.
6. Positive thoughts results in positive outcomes…
I need to always lean into the good. When I focus on positivity, that positivity will always win.
7. Trust God’s timing…
Some things are meant to be. God’s timing is always perfect. Things do not always happen when I want them to happen. That is why Jesus is really cool.
8. I cannot fix everyone…
…But I can provide support. I need to be able to live out my own experiences in order for me to grow myself. As much as I would absolutely love to protect everyone and help them from making the same mistakes I did, I still cannot force them down a path that was never meant for them. What I can do is be there for them. That should be more than enough.
9. I just want to be…
I just want to be. Striving for perfection has only resulted in stress and self-doubt. I say no to that.
10. I can ask for help. That does not mean I am weak…
I have become strong enough to hold out my hand. I have some incredible people in my life who have shown me that it is truly okay to not be okay. It does not mean I am worth anything less. It is actually a sign of strength to be openly vulnerable to ask those around me for help.
11. I ain’t apologizing for who I am…EVER…
I am here to grow, learn and trust in my process.
12. I am making decisions with my own well-being as a priority…
There have been far too many moments where I have lived for others and I have made decisions based off of other peoples needs and wants. I have sacrificed things along the way because I have been afraid of what people will say or think of me. It should never be like that. The world will move on regardless and I do not want my well-being to suffer. Health first.
13. I am allowed to say “no” and I know that my friends will understand…
This is honestly what adulting is like. Find people who understand when life gets too crazy. I know and trust who my friends are. When I say I cannot make some things it is okay. I will never lose them because I said no.
14. I will make mistakes but life moves on…
There is seriously no point in beating myself up for the mistakes that I have made. Most of the time the mistakes that I make are not even that bad. But I am always quite hard on myself.
15. I am allowed to cry…
Cry and then move on. Get back up again and power through. Yes and Amen.
16. There will be critics…
I cannot win them all. It is impossible. People pleasing sucks. Learn from them but do not be shaped by them. I can choose to listen or ignore.
17. Be empowered by my own life!…
Embrace everything about myself! Invest in myself! Learn how to work on myself!
18. There is no timeline…
Just because I am a certain age and I may have not done what I said I would do by a specific age (we all do it. It is true) does not mean that I am a failure. It means that life looks different and that is totally okay. I thought I would be many things by the age of 25. It does not mean I will never get there! Be okay with that.
19. Let go of the control…
Do not stress over situations that I am unable to control.
20. Stop comparing…
Comparison leaves me sad and miserable. It is not worth it. I am who I am for a reason.
21. Take care of my body…
It is so easy to neglect myself. Take care of my body. It is an important part of me.
22.Balance is important…
There is balance to everything. Make sure I am living my life!
23. Not all advice is good advice…
…
24. Stop the overthinking…
I think and I think and I think some more. I over analyze. What can go wrong? What impact will it have on me? Fear ends up overpowering my ability to act. Just ask myself instead, “Does this feel right?”. If it feels right then that is all I need.
25. Be grateful and happy…
Be grateful for the life that you are living.
Be happy.
Learn to love and be loved.
…and lastly…
Be proud of how far you have come.
