There are two types of people in this world: Those who love their birthday and those who do not. For me, birthdays have always been exciting. Presents and celebrations are my favourite things about my birthday. Another thing that I love about birthdays is that you always have an excuse to eat as much cake as you want to. Can I get an “Amen”?!
Since I was about 5 I would always tell my Mom that I was going to be a millionaire and a full time performer by 23. I guess that means I only have eight months to fulfil this. Yeah no, that is not happening.
When I think about turning 23, it seems just as boring as it sounds. I find it to be an awkward age and this year I found it difficult to feel excited about officially turning 23.
With any birthday comes the opportunity to reflect on everything that you have learnt throughout your life. Life has been challenging, exciting, it has pushed me to become more courageous and has taught me more than I could have ever anticipated.
23 is not just a number. What really counts is what I have realised along the way.
23 Things I Have Learnt:
1. You do not have to have it all figured out by the age of 23
I find this to be a real issue in our generation. We are constantly comparing our lives to what society says and this needs to stop. No, you do not have to be married and travel all over the world by the age of 23. No, you do not have to have a huge, impressive bank account by this age either. Live your life and enjoy the now. Ok?
2. Be unapologetically yourself. Always.
Stop dumbing yourself down. Who you are is more than enough. Just because you may be a little too much for someone else, does not mean you need to change everything about you. Keep being you. People appreciate that a lot more than you being inauthentic. The right people will love you for who you are, so do not let that go.
3. Chasing perfection is really tiring
There is no such thing as a perfect life. Everything will come with the good and the bad. What are you willing to live with? Are YOU living your best life? If you are, then you have nothing to worry about. I promise.
4. Love is the most precious thing in the world
Seriously, once you start to realize how much you deserve, the right person will come along. Love is beautiful but do not disrespect yourself by running after someone that does not respect you or honour who you are. Wait for the person that loves every part of you and makes you want to become a better person. Tevan, thank you for showing me what true honour looks like.
5. It is not your job to live someone else’s dreams
You do not have to go anywhere if it is not going to make you happy. The choices that you end up making will set the tone for the choices that you will have to make for the rest of your life. You are allowed to decide what is good for you.
6. The beauty is in the attempt
Try something new. Dare to be different. Step out of your comfort zone. Learn new things. Do something that scares you. Push yourself, it is so worth it.
7. Be thankful
I know how hard this can be at times. When things are going south, it is difficult to sit down and go “but I am still feeling thankful”. It is all about perspective. If there is fear or doubt, there is no room for thankfulness. I have learnt that by staying thankful, my entire mindset shifts and I am then able to see the good things that are lying in front of me.
8. Chai Lattes are way better than Cappuccinos
Self-explanatory. Yes and amen.
9. Learn to forgive
There is nothing worse than holding a strong grudge against someone. Do not hold onto hate. Allow yourself to feel the pain that you are going through but then forgive that person that hurt you. This does not mean they get to walk back into your life but as long as they know that you have forgiven them, then nothing else matters.
10. The small things count
If there is one thing I have learnt, it would be that the small things mean so much more than any big thing that happens in life. That is what means the most. I have taught myself to become a lot more conscious and grateful when it comes to little things that I experience day to day. These are the things that have brought me most joy. Appreciate these things and enjoy every moment.
11. Dating with intention is very important
I am not one to regret experiences, especially when they have taught me so much and have moulded me into who I am, but if I could rewind to any moment, it would be high school. I wish I had guarded my heart right up until the end of Grade 12. Why? Well, because I would have saved myself from a lot of heartache, drama and unnecessary stress. Dating without the intention of honouring one another and and never aiming for the future together creates difficult moments and can really hurt you. This is just what I have experienced and how I feel. I wish I had waited for the RIGHT man to come into my life. Instead, I rushed into things that were not good for me. BUT, like I said.. if it was not for those moments, I would not be where I am today.
12. Happiness does not come from anyone else but yourself
Everything — contentment, peace, joy — comes from within.
13. You cannot please everyone – so please yourself
“When it comes to saying yes or no to something or someone, choose the answer that feels like freedom.” – Martha Becks
Make your needs a priority.
14. I can be a country girl and a city girl at the same time
I absolutely LOVE country life. The smell of the outdoors, walking around in fishing boots, carrying a fishing rod in my hand, pumping prawns from smelly riverbeds, standing up on the back of a pick up truck, taking pictures of mountains, lakes and clouds, camping on uneven ground and roasting marshmallows, going on hikes, riding horses, touching sheep and listening to Florida Georgia Line on full blast in the car is what I live for.
Now most of you know that I have been brought up in a city and can seem like a typical city girl but you would be surprised at how great I am at country life (small chuckle). Although I love shopping at big shopping centres and buying myself new clothes whenever I can, I could seriously see myself living in the countryside. Looking back, I always knew I had a bit of country in me but these past few years have proved it more and more and I could not be happier experiencing God’s creation the way I do!
15. It is okay to feel confused and tired sometimes
There will be days where you will not know what to do with your life and that is okay. You will probably overthink and it will really suck when you cannot explain what is wrong. When you feel like this, look at the bigger picture and remember that feelings do not always tell the truth.
16. Believe in miracles
Because Jesus is good!
17. Life does not go according to plan
This would usually scare me but life is really exciting when you do not know what is coming next. I still go through moments where I want life to go according to my plan but that will never happen. Never. And I am okay with that.
18. Children these days have no idea who ‘Barney The Purple Dinosaur’ is
How old am I? And why do they not know this?
19. Being cool is no longer important
As you get older you start to learn that trying to be cool is really exhausting. I would much rather just be me. I find it a lot more exciting when I am a real version of me, instead of trying to act like someone else so people can like me more.
20. Sleep is my best friend
I used to cry when my mom told me it was bedtime at 7:00pm. I never wanted to miss out on what was going on while I was in my room trying to sleep. I preferred to go to bed really late just so that I did not miss anything fun or important. That is no longer the case. Sleep has become my absolute best friend. The older I get the more I start to value my sleep time. Anyone else feel this way?
21. Laughter will always be the best medicine
We have the ability to mend broken hearts and lift spirits. Because of you, people are able to uncover strength they did not even know they had because you helped push them towards the right direction. Making people laugh is such an amazing feeling. There will always be people out there who need a laugh more than you do. It is the best.
22. Finding your tribe is so important
Life is way too short to have friends that constantly put you down.
23. I am more than capable
This has not always been something I have believed about myself but I am learning to embrace it every day. I am more than capable and it feels good.